


Young In Love

by JHarkness



Category: Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-29
Updated: 2013-09-29
Packaged: 2017-12-28 00:10:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/985277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JHarkness/pseuds/JHarkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three words laid heavily on his tongue, and they would forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Young In Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [13thDoctor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/13thDoctor/gifts).



Jem Carstairs coughed, and the entire room stiffened. Blood trickled from his mouth steadily, shockingly scarlet against the pale flesh of his face. Sweat poured from him, matting his white shirt to the sick-soiled sheets.

"Will," he gasped out, the pain crashing over him in a wave. He grasped the sheets so roughly that his knuckles whitened, causing his companions to wince in pain as they stared. Mrs. Branwell bit the inside of her lip, the tears  burning against her closed eyelids.

"I will fetch him now," she fluttered, voice thick with the torture of watching Jem take his last breaths. She motioned for Sophie to come and take her place by the invalid’s side while she collected William.

A pregnant silence followed as everyone held back their sobs. Muffled groans sounded from the bed, and Sophie’s hand tightened on her friend’s fingers. Soft voices from behind her whispered that time was running out, that it would be more humane to kill him now. She winced, heart tightening as he whirled.

"If you plan to talk that way, _leave_ ,” she spat at the Lightwoods. They saw the fury in her eyes and nodded, gazes lingering on the dying Shadowhunter as they left the room. They did not close the door, and soon heavy footsteps could be heard in the corridors. Will shoved into the room moments later, face and eyes red from crying.

"Not now," he begged, voice low broken. Jem tried to answer, but his words started with a long wail of pain.

"Can we do nothing?" He shouted to the ceiling as he stepped toward his brother-in-arms. Sophie stood as he approached, head cast down as he took her place beside the bed. Everyone saw this as a sign to leave, and they did so with murmured blessings and soft hands on William’s shoulder.

As soon as the door has clicked softly closed, Jem coughed out, “Will.” It was a dry and pained sound; void of everything that the young Herondale knew his parabatai to be. He moved to the edge of the bed, brain working furiously to find the words he needed to say. They got stuck in his throat, producing a sound like clockwork that hitched and died as his friend cried out. He took a cloth from the side table and brought it to Jem’s forehead, the fear in his eyes translating plainly to his fellow warrior.

"I am not going to last much longer."

Jem wrapped his bony hands around Will’s wrists. The cloth he had been using slipped to the bedridden Shadowhunter’s chest as Will’s arm weakened.

"Do not say that, cariad." The familiar Welsh word slipped from his tongue casually, as though he had always used it to refer to his parabatai. The silver-haired boy smiled, a glint in his eyes as he took in the meaning, and Will prayed to the Angel that he knew he meant more than that. The words burned his tongue- fi cariad eich - _I love you_.

He wished it were that easy to say.

Will leaned down to kiss Jem’s cheek, but the other boy turned his face so that his friend’s lips met not the smooth skin on his jaw, but the soft flesh of his mouth.

William gasped and pulled away, startled and ashamed of his error. However, Jem persisted, pulling his companion’s hands back to his chest gently.

"I’m sorry," the Herondale boy stuttered, face turning a brilliant shade of red.

"It was no mistake," Jem responded, a small quirk of his lips showing the happiness hidden under his gaunt face. He parted his lips, shallow breaths breaking the silence as he lifted his arm. He passed his cold fingers on William’s cheek, and the latter boy turned into his hand, the tears now flowing vigorously.

"I—" He began.

"I know."

Those same soft lips crashed against his, but this time they were hot, and needy. And  they were everything Will had ever wanted; had ever imagined. Warmth spread to his fingers and turned his reason and logic into blackness; it was Jem, _his Jem._

_  
_And he always would be.

…

  
When his children asked him about his parabatai years later, he would tell every story he could about his companion that he could think of. He would tell of their many adventures, how they had defeated the great Lightworm and Jem had saved him from the ducks. They would laugh, and the pain would come back, because Jem wasn’t there to laugh with him, though he could almost feel it.

But he kept one to himself—oh, he did not even tell Tessa—he never told them how it felt to kiss Jem; how it felt to love him. He would think about it sometimes, and then he would touch the fading Mark on his chest and let the tears flow in the darkness. And when the dark finally closed in on him for good, that story was packed tightly around his quieted heart.

And it always would be.

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I want to apologize--I made myself cry as well. I usually write fluff. I'm sorry. Secondly, I'd like to say that I am officially back. My computer is fixed, so I can now continue everything I've been (trying) to finish,


End file.
